My goldfish slapped me, so I was

My goldfish slapped me, so I was

forced to boil the water in its tank, letting it suffer to it's last... 'blub'? "Well crap, looks like we need a new pet!" I turned to my sister and exclaimed. She frowned and

whimpered, "Can we get a hermit crab in his place?" I looked at her, beaming, knowing that I had finally convinced of the superiority of hermit crabs. "Yes, Amanda, yes we can."

You see, I was the President of the United States and so I could make Amanda's wish come true. I will get her hermit crabs but I will need the Prime Minister of Israel to

thought she should receive "special privileges" because she was a White House intern. Sighing, I pulled her into the Oval Office & chased all the Secret Service out. Amanda danced

her tribes love dance around the Oval Office and with the completion of the ceremony sacrificed a chicken. The President was excited about Amanda's offering and grabbed her

attention by dropping his trousers and performing the chicken dance. Amanda intoned 'I'm too sexy' in a whumpawhumpawhumpa way. The President squealed. He hadn't had so much fun si

Nce he last got stranded in mexico in 1932.

Then, a time-traveller A-Bomb suddendly appeared and killed everyone.