"We're turning your bedroom back into the

"We're turning your bedroom back into the computer room." father told me. My toothy grin vanished almost instantly.

Replacing my grin; my mouth contorted into a demented twisted smile. "Alright," I said, smirking. What my father did not know was that

. That thing right over there. In the corner. Under the doily. Waxy, pulpy. Fragile. My father did not know what the hell it was. I did. So smirk on I did. I smirked so hard that

I pulled a muscle in my face and had to be rushed to the hospital. Once there I was unable to witness my father's continued confusion and had to imagine it, careful not to move my

nose which had shifted to one side because of the pulled muscle. But suddenly I felt a sneeze coming on. The doctor came in and started laughing aloud which didn't help at all.

Oh man...this was gonna hurt. I couldn't hold back the sneeze and it was a BIG one too! All kinds of stuff flew from my nose. The doctor had to duck as appliances, small animals,

Wolverine and a pizza delivery boy were covered in my nasal mucus sample. The doctor scooped a small amount into a container for testing and offered me a note for work. I thanked

Elvis to rock the service industry. After his fall from grace he had taken a job as a waiter and they expected him to rise through the ranks. Little did they know he'd cry in the

bathroom every night, thinking about his days in Vegas, weeping gently into a small bucket. Poor Elvis. His only despite came the day a special person arrived - it was none other t