A pessimist, an optometrist, an oncologist

  • A pessimist, an optometrist, an oncologist and a talking prune walk into a bar. The bartender says to the group "What would you like?" The pessimist says "Meh, you won't have it."

  • The optometrist says "Meh, you wont' see it." The oncologist says "Meh, you won't live." The talking prune says "I could do with a drink." Silence. Total and complete silence.

  • The loose end of the cotton bud slowly worked its way around the ear canal. Sound waves bounced every direction but failed to penetrate the tiny bit of cotton fluff blocking the en

  • trance...until, that is, the strangely melodic sounds of Yanni's Greatest Hits penetrated past the Q-Tip, into her ear & into her consciousness. A crystal forest grew inside her

  • sea-monkey mind and illuminated her path into Magical Reality. The Sea Monkeys introduced her to the Holy Ocarina then showed her their coffee-table book of Bob Venosa paintings

  • which were the most magical paintings she had ever seen. They were as surreal as the Sea Monkey's beautiful kingdom. The Sea Monkey's then dressed her in a skin tight

  • yellow swimsuit and sandals. She was sunbathing one day, like a giant banana on the beach, wearing over-sized sunglasses. Several sea monkeys serving sandwiches stumbled into her.

  • The sea monkeys had stumbled right into her body through her ear. Two of the sea monkeys got wax-trapped and died. The other 45 trudged on, this mission was for the universe.

  • They knew the brain was a universe in itself; myriads of neurons in lieu of galaxy clusters. The leading sea monkey bore through the inner ear and was first to reach the cortex.

  • He surfed gamma waves crossing the longitudinal fissure with the firings of the corpus callosum lighting his way & entered the seat of conciousness. So now you know Bozo's secret.



  1. SlimWhitman Feb 18 2015 @ 05:57

    This is surreal. I think the sea monkeys took over all our minds...

  2. PurpleProf Feb 18 2015 @ 12:36

    Great story! First two folds had me LOL! 49erFaithful and LucieLucie...two of our more creative foldsters... MoralEnd's fold was "ear"ily psychic.

  3. SlimWhitman Feb 18 2015 @ 14:05

    BlastedHealth's seamonkey idea and Servant's clever and poetic segue of the 'universe' in MoralEnd's "ear"ily psychic fold! Actually everyone added something to this to make it a good story. *Cype-rbackslaps & -highfives*

  4. lucielucie Feb 18 2015 @ 15:56

    Could this be the Greatest Folding Story Ever Told?

  5. lucielucie Feb 18 2015 @ 16:03

    And shucks PurpleProf ????

  6. SlimWhitman Feb 18 2015 @ 19:16

    Being a nerd, I looked up brain waves - gamma waves are supposedly what your brain does when you laugh or meditate. @lucielucie, Yes it's the best ever told - and is passed from sea monkey generation to generation...

  7. BlastedHeath Feb 20 2015 @ 19:48

    FoldingStory made me what I am. ;-)

  8. HookerGal Jun 01 2015 @ 02:08

    I love it..... It kindof started as a way to pull some kind of joke. But the sea monkeys and cotton swabs, they make it funny and they make it feel as random as life. Its great.

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