She likes wine; so, do I. She said she’d

She likes wine; so, do I. She said she’d wear a Halloween costume for wine. I asked what costume. For lots of wine, she said I can choose. I felt a stirring. Birthday suit?

I asked her, but she looked confused. "I usually wear a dress on my birthday," she told me. I hummed thoughtfully. "Well, you could wear that chicken suit from Easter?"

"But last time I wore that, you tried to chop my head off and put me in the deep fryer!" she wailed. "Oh, stop being such a baby about it. You're four now," I scolded. But she

couldn’t hear me because she had put in her earbuds & livestreamed her tantrum on her Youtube channel. I felt conflicted. She was only 4 but we needed more Likes & subscribers.

I wanted to stop pandering to the pre kindergarten demographic, but I need to eat. I decided to take my salespitch to the mall dressed as my youtube persona

which is a skibidi toliet that had poppys playtime in it. I walk over to big boss man and yell"I am a skibidi rizzler!", he stares at me, "see how that got your attention, hire me"

He stares at me for a second, probably thinking how hopeless and helpless the younger generation is. But to my surprise he said "fine, you're hired" and that's how I started workin

as a Starfleet Captain. It was pretty nice, really. I could just go to the bridge any time I wanted, plop down in my cushy seat, and say "Plot a course for some planet, Warp 5."

Now this was the life. One story ended, a new one began. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise. Free to explore the universe. To boldly go where no man has gone before.

"You're not going in here. Find a mens room or something."