“I have sorer tusks,” bellowed the mastodon,

“I have sorer tusks,” bellowed the mastodon, making his excuse known. "Please don't tell the herd you beat me in a deer-rules charging match." The boar replied, "Fat chance! This m

astadon herd's mine. Deer-rules!" The great boar's girth was such that the matriarch accepted him & she bore him many a litter of... "Boring!" said Warty. Impossible too. Chromosom

es and stuff." "Chromosomes and stuff?" repeated the professor. "Warty, what have we been talking about all semester?" Warty looked around at the class. "Uh, chromosomes. And stuff

ing that my Aunt Gloria spooned out of old greasy bird." The Professor sneered, "And what in the devil does thanksgiving stuffing have to do with Chromosomes Mr. Warty?"

The girl with the tattoo of some mystical creature or other crashed through the sunwindow and dropped onto the table. "I'll tell you what." She shot him three times in the forehead

Before he died, he managed to tell her that her tattoo was misspelt, grammatically incorrect & trite. So she shot him for the fourth time & rifled through his wallet to find his

"Dad!" she whispered into the dying man's ear. "It's me! I can't believe I found you after all this time! Where the HELL have you been?!!!" Her father's eyes opened momentarily

"Oh Honey, I" and then he died. I was traumatized. From then on, I hated endings. I'd turn off the TV before the show was over, tie only one shoe, trail off in the middle of a sen

tence, leave my desserts half-eaten, and ... I don't even have the guts to end this story properly. That's why I'm going to continue it elsewhere ...