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Question: Do the perpetrators of the Gurtvin

  • Question: Do the perpetrators of the Gurtvin Invasion hail from Gurt, Gurtv, Gurtvin, or some other assemblage of vowels and consonants? The answer

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  • had to be on Wikipedia. But when I reached the site, I discovered that the language had been set to Gurtvian. Had the Gurtvins invaded my office? There were splattered tomatoes on

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  • the Gurtvin quilt that my grandmother had made and given to me just before she passed. I instantly regretted that I had used the quilt to secretly bring to my office my stash of

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  • Hentai pornography. Now that they gave me a door, I have privacy and why not? But when I popped one into my computer, it felt like Gramma's quilt was watching me. It gave me

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  • the creeps, so I popped one into the living rooms computer when I was alone. I had gone to great lengths in order to satisfy my cartoon porn addiction. I even

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  • learned that on the internet, there are certain websites dedicated to cartoon smut. I needed an internet! But soon I felt satisfaction instead from the comeuppance of commercialist

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  • Japanese game show hosts. Who do they think they are, anyway? And don't even get me started about the capitalist Hungarian roller-derby queens. Their spandex pants are an abominati

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  • on, especially when their chunky thighs rubbed together while roller-derbying around & around. Speaking of, one time I saw Helga's crotch catch on fire, much to the amusement of

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  • her boyfriend. He thought it quite amusing and lifted her out of the roller derby ring to help Helga save face. Wait! How will he explain the video? He was caught laughing and

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  • sneaking her mother's best china into his bag. You could even hear the clinking as he strolled out casually. Maybe he should blame Helga for the theft. He nods to himself, plotting

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8 Comments

  1. SlimWhitman Sep 18 2013 @ 12:48

    Jaw2ek spelled it "Ghurvtin" when he first foisted the Ghurtvin invasion upon us. But immediately everyone wrote Ghurtvin (which is easier to pronounce). I tried to correct it but I was ignored. Clearly Ghurtvin as won. Did anyone even notice this difference? It's funny how some words you can read and never actually see the error hiding in them.

  2. 49erFaithful Sep 18 2013 @ 18:29

    Don't recall any conscious choice between Ghurtvin and Ghurvtin when I wrote this beginning, which is of course ironic because the fold focuses on the name itself. I also left the 'h' entirely out so perhaps we're dealing with a 3rd reality. There's the original Ghurvtin Invasion, whose progeny the Ghurtvin Invasion gave rise to the Gurtvin Invasion. It's an intricate thing, this game called language.

  3. Zetawilk Sep 18 2013 @ 18:33

    Mmmm, pickles.

  4. buddyboy4711 Sep 18 2013 @ 21:29

    I read it as 'Ghurtvin' every time until just now (including the 1st time I read Slim's comment and was confused). There just aren't 'vt' words in English; 'chavtastic' maybe counts as a word, but that could be it. Personally, I blame our G(h)ur(vt/tv)ian overlords, who failed to implement spelling reform upon seizing the throne. Come to think of it, have they implemented anything besides gleefully tangential folds and a messier version of La Tomatina? I expected more. Is there another imperial barbarian horde I can surrender to?

  5. PurpleProf Sep 19 2013 @ 01:00

    Hungarian pickles.

  6. Zetawilk Sep 19 2013 @ 11:14

    I suspect the issue is simply a linguistic one. Their language doesn't quite translate phonetically, so you end up with one of those deals like with Chinese where you have two completely different subsets of Romanization. Or like the Japanese R/L conundrum, where the actual consonant here is just some sinusoidal blending of V and T. Okay, I just threw in the word "sinusoidal" for kicks. But the H might or might not be altogether silent. But then who am I to say? I didn't come up with them, so my validity can easily be superseded.

  7. 49erFaithful Sep 19 2013 @ 12:07

    Oh boy, if I had a nickel for every time I've been involved in an online G(h)ur(vt/tv)ian linguistic discussion, I'd have, well, 1 nickel.

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