The young girl sat at the feet of the old

The young girl sat at the feet of the old man. "Tell me, sensei, the secrets of comedy." "You are too young now, my child. But when you are grown, mention of monkeys, pants and pie

are sure to earn laughts from your audience little one, but always remember these three words, timing, timing, timing." Years later she tried the magic words 'monkey pants & pie'

and the audience fell silent. Mortified, she ran off stage. Then she remembered timing, and tried again. "Monkeys," she said, pacing awhile. "…Pants." Then without warning, "Pies."

An audience member in boxers placed his neatly folded pants on the edge of the stage. Aha! The audience understood and began throwing monkeys, pies and pants while the actress

es backstage laughed amongst themselves. "Serves him right," whispered the actress named Shirley. Meanwhile, he was dodging the monkeys, pies, & pants onstage, dumfounded that

audiences were supposed to think this shtick was funny. But they were drunk. He threw a pie at a monkey and Shirley came on stage and said, "Well, well, well, we meet again

Doctor Jones." "My name's not Doctor Jones," I protested, but the monkey crammed a banana in my mouth so all that came out was "My name's mmmm...mmmmmfffmmmf". Shirley laughed and

Started screaming again. This is the third time today, she just does it when she's bored. I'll never know why I married her, Phillip would've treated me better than she ever could.

I told her. Then she told me: she and Phillip had a thing the whole time, and now they've invited me to join them. Sometimes life really does work out for the best.