Last time I smelled this bad I lost my best

a lot harder to change, as you can imagine. Don't worry, I still pulled it off though! That bitch stole my heart, so I stole hers. Literally. And with her heart in my chest, I

can no longer get my pulse over 73. It's a smaller heart, it cannot work hard enough to fulfill my body's capacity. As a result, erections are impossible. But I have my revenge

when I slouch class. When the Nun scolds me, I hand her a DR's note. She apologizes, and I tell her, "Don't make it a habit, Bitch." Her name is Sister Bitch but I drop the Sister.

Sister Bichelli roused me out of my religious reveries with the comment, "Martin, you needed to finish your Hail Mary's later" The Sunrise service is over and Father Tom is waiting

"There isn't a moment to loose!" I donned on my Choir Boy costume and drove the Pious Mobile to Father Tom. He vaulted in his cardinal red jump suit. "Heaven awaits! Excelsior!" I

grabbed my little bible and red hat, then I started to run. I looked around and all I could see was people wearing bright red, it was everywhere and then I could see something move

within the shifting patters of the color; when I squinted, every red thing I saw in the chaotic movements of the people became a coherent image of a dragon rising out of the earth.

This had to be a sign, I told myself as I widened my eyes again. Last week I left some skid marks in the toilet bowl that looked just like a dragon too. This was what it took

to motivate me to widen my eyes. I preferred to keep them narrow so that everybody would know that I was skeptical about whatever they were about. But I still believe in dragons.