Writing Boot Camp: The drill sargent yells.

Writing Boot Camp: The drill sargent yells. "Finish your folds.You've got 4 minutes! And anyone uses penis, or makes fart jokes gets to clean the latrine! Private Folder Ryan types

"Dear Mom and Dad: I hate Folding Story Boot Camp. I promise to be a good kid. The sarge will be here soon. Gotta go. Love, Ryan" The Sarge approached. "Private!"

"Yes sir!" the troop yelled. The seargant glared. "This is not a tea party, meat-bag! this is foldingstory boot camp! now gimme twenty folds, and make it snappy!" I nodded, and

As I began the first fold a mutated panda suddenly dropped from a passing airplane. "What is wrong with the world" I said to myself. The panda began to squat down and

give the coach "20." The panda hated exercise. He felt like the football coach was always picking on him for being slow and chubby. He wouldn't even be on the team if it wasn't

for his dad who spent a full year and a half at the Bamboo Rehab Center, where they became buddies. The panda wanted to improve, but the hard time coach was giving him made him so

stressed that it started eating more bamboo. However my dad understood what the panda was going through and talked to it nicely. Soon, it's bamboo consumption started decreasing.

With less bamboo in its diet, the Panda lost weight. Feeling badly, Dad enrolled the Panda in a eating disorder program at UCLA Medical Center. The Panda went reluctantly.

"...and that's what you must do to regain your appetite," the nutritionist explained to Panda. "It's pretty much black & white." Panda was so tired of that joke.