Every morning I read a Folding Story and
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Every morning I read a Folding Story and my goal for that day is to reenact its events to the best of my ability. I aim to strive for authenticity. It's a new kind of horoscope.
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Our story today is about a man. A man who wants to make the world a better place but has just one day to do it. Let's start by bringing a bloody mary for everyone at the office.
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That went well until the man decided to make the world a better place by French kissing Mrs. Bently & Mr. Bently fired him. The man still has a day to make the world a better place
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for all of us. But fuck, French kissing is serious, especially to Bently. I once saw that guy eat a mug. I'm talkin' an entire, ceramic drinking mug, just cause he was pissed. So I
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frenched him. Tongue and all. If he could eat a mug, then Bently could kill me. But after the distasteful kiss I realized, as tough as Bentley is, he was the worse kisser in the wo
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-men's center, where creepy dudes hung out to pick up college chicks. Bentley taught himself French to woo them, but they had things called "dignity" and "self-respect". No tongue
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wrestling would happen between Bentley and Philomena Cunk. Miss Cunk had better things to do than listen to Bentley's poor attempts at French. She was starting her own legal firm
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, but she wasn't taken too seriously as an attorney. Why, you may ask? Because Miss Cunk had junk in her trunk, that's why! And when she turned up the funk, Bentley couldn't help
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spontaneously combusting when the bootilicious attorney Miss Cunk shimmied towards him. "Bentley," she lisped,"please tell me you admire my fine legal mind, that's it's not just
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body you desire?" Sighing Bentley replied "You know miss Cunk, the one thing I really love about you is your ability to smile at the face of adversity.. Won't you please marry me?"
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- Started
- 2012-05-04 17:24:43
- Finished
- 2013-02-24 16:31:02
11 Comments
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SlimWhitman Feb 24 2013 @ 17:15
You see how important it is to learn about foreign tongues? ... The charming Miss. Cunk is sure to spunk up our stories. Thank you Inatick!
lucielucie Feb 24 2013 @ 17:19
It's a dilemma. Should she marry him? He's rubbish at kissing, apparently.
SlimWhitman Feb 24 2013 @ 17:23
Probably best to avoid relationships if the kissing doesn't cause electricity right from the get go. But hey, maybe Miss Cunk has ulterior motives ;-)
lucielucie Feb 24 2013 @ 17:28
I think Mr Bentley is already married... But I think he forgot.
SlimWhitman Feb 24 2013 @ 17:34
I think maybe Miss. Cunk is Mr. Bentley's divorce lawyer. Let's wait and see. I'm sure we'll hear more from them.
lucielucie Feb 24 2013 @ 17:45
He's divorcing his wife? It was just a small kiss!
lucielucie Feb 24 2013 @ 17:49
Although she could divorce him on grounds of learning French with intention to seduce.
inatick Feb 24 2013 @ 19:45
I am sorry to say on this occasion the name Philomena Cunk is not my own creation. I saw it on Charlie Brooker's Weekly Wipe and liked the comedic sound of the name, so I just weaved her into a folding story. I must say my inspiration often comes from the most random and bizarre sources. I find reading others folds often gives an insight into the author's background or life experiences.
lucielucie Feb 25 2013 @ 01:31
Also the kind of stuff people are reading shows. I'm addicted to Romances at the mo. and it's improved my writing style no end.
inatick Feb 25 2013 @ 03:39
Well the romances must be working because I think you have a good writing style but then I don't know what you wrote like before. Keep writing so we have a larger sample size to research your improvement.
lucielucie Feb 25 2013 @ 12:18
I love you inatick. Well, what's changed is people tell each other they love each other a lot. Also I overuse the words 'snicker' and 'quirk' (both verbs). People gasp and their breath hitches and as SlimWhitman says, if the first kiss doesn't cause an electrical jolt then they might as well not bother. If anyone is lucky enough to have an orgasm, their head explodes. xx