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You may of heard of John Henry or Paul Bunyan,

  • You may of heard of John Henry or Paul Bunyan, but the greatest folk hero of 'em all was ol' J. Manatee, P.I. He dun conquered the mid-west with his intense percepshuns. One time,

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  • his intense percepshun skill even saved his life! while rolIing about in some god forsaken mud puddle like the true Mid-Western Manatee he is, John Rattlesnake crept towards him

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  • using a set of automated peg legs created for veterans. John Rattlesnake's jaw unhinged because to swallow Det. Manatee but his fake leg stepped on his lower jaw and

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  • John Rattlesnake swallowed himself thus fulfilling a cryptic dream Manatee had in which a snake swallowed it's tail. Jason stepped forward & picked up a few leftover scales

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  • and put them in his pocket which already contained marbles, a Darth Vader Pez dispenser, a tuning fork and some beef jerky. Detective Manatee always carried marbles in his pocket

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  • and he was always happy to see me. It showed. Manatee P.I. offered me a Pez. I declined. "How goes the good fight?" I queried. He said "There's something that's been bothering me

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  • ." "What's that, Mana-" But he was gone. POW! "CAN'T MAKE A DRAMATIC ENTRANCE IN A SCENE I'M ALREADY IN!" Yelled Manatee, punching the mask square off my face with his patented

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  • left-hook sucker punch. The mask flew from the pseudo-Manatee's face revealing Manatee's arch-nemesis Teemana--the aquatic terrorist. Teemana laughed in mad glee and reached for

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  • ward to land another blow. Suddenly a glass-bottomed boat full of tourists glided by. A little boy screamed at evil Teemana, bringing the captain's attention to the psuedo-Manatee.

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  • Teemana bellowed an horrific manatee-wail, and dived beneath the surface with a showy splash. Her body was like a torpedo, crashing through the glass, sinking the tourists & boat.

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