Hair loss, Ha! Tell me about it. I've tried

Hair loss, Ha! Tell me about it. I've tried everything under the sun to get my curls back. Horse muck doesn't work, neither does applying banana skins. Today I'll try rubbing in

side the tauny loins of a moose. It's an old swedish home remedy for hairloss. The only problem is finding a moose that will stand still long enough for me to insert my head.

Not to mention I need a step ladder because I am so short. So I walked with a bag of carrots and step stool in the Northern direction expecting some moose Exposure. I started in

Brazil where the helpful ninja Frank pointed me to Canada & warned me to watch out for eldritch rubber ducks. I munched on my carrots as a lawyer pointed out I had a stepladder.

But of course, it was Thursday in Holland and beneficial stepladdering sites were few and far between. I munched on my fingers as the two lads from the Stock Brokers passed, tongue

s licking their lollies. I tapped some keys. Numbers started to scroll across the screen and across my face like in the movies - so I knew I'd hacked into the Dutch Bulb Exchange

. Like the 17th century tulip mania, I dived into the commodities market for FarmVille. I caused hyper inflation in the ambrosia and snow tulip market . I was raking in the

Hot tears welled up in my eyes. My efforts to make something of myself had been utterly futile. I had $1.79 in my pocket, though, just enough to buy a donut & a cuppa coffee before

A young woman with starlit eyes and a steamy hot body approached me. She peered deep into my soul and grabbed a handful of testicles while reciting the pledge of allegiance.