Sid was acepted as a law student at Oxford

Sid was acepted as a law student at Oxford University but he couldn't get accommodation on campus since the rooms were full. He looked up different student websites hoping to find

an English hobo lessor. Sid accepted an offer for a place outside a smelting factory. "Welcome to Helter-Shelter, ye Sun Belter," said Veltre the hobo. "Oxford's dorms have nothing

on the Surströmmingy breezes you'll experience at Helter-Shelter. My olfactory lobe was melting as we spoke and I was too feeble to complain when he handed me the key to the shack.

It was a key to the love shack. The love shack baby. I had me a Chrysler. As big as a whale, according to the salesman. The girl behind me screamed, "Tin Roof!" and I was

off. I drove as fast as I could to get the hell away from that awful sight of bright red hair teased into a tower above a face with too much make-up. As I looked behind me,

to be painted. Skyscrapers are all short & fat, in the San Bernardino of my mind. Drifting, dreaming, unaware if I was dead or merely asleep on the doctor's operating slab, a tiger

happened by and pawed at me. I had to admit that I enjoyed it and wanted to rub him behind his ears. When I awoke, however, I realized I had rubbed the doctor's ears instead and

was now being presented with a restraining order. Realizing I only had minutes before the drugs wore off and full embarrassment kicked in, I disobeyed medical advice and drove off

the reservation. My new family is nice but I don't tell them about your voice in my head. That's between you and me. Just let me know what you want me to do next. Yours, John.