"She" came up. "She" was mad. I could tell
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"She" came up. "She" was mad. I could tell by the way "she" walked. She looked at nothing as "she" clomped over to the printer. Staring at the printer "she"
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most definitely, most positively, without a doubt, did a pinch and roll. I knew it! I KNEW that chick had testes! I was so excited, without thinking, I picked up the P.A. mic and
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announced to everyone in the tennis stadium audience that that woman had testicles. I'd never sounded so glorious for anything in all my wretched life. The PA operators wanted the
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evidence for my claim, so I quickly pulled up a picture of some old wrinkled testicles on my phone and showed it to them. Surprisingly, they bought it. "Bring that woman here!"
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"I'm sorry," one of them replied. "Could you repeat that, please?"
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"goombaby slitherwalkees" he repeated. I freaking hate mumblers, even moreso than people that don't use their turn signals. Safety First? Doesn't any1 remember that anymore? The mu
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nchers of crisps who weave their way randomly across 3 lanes of motorway traffic - I hate them too! " Hufuuur," he said, interrupting my inner ravings. "Stop mumbling!" I snapped
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his suspenders against his bare chest, causing his nipples to turn bright red. "You are so mean to me," he said, but at least this time he wasn't mumbling. "Pull over here!" I orde
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red and smacked his face for good measure. He pulled over, looking simultaneously excited and abused. "Get out!" I screamed. He got out. "Now bend over!" I ordered. He bent over.
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I lifted the knout and was prepared to deal a finishing blow. But my fury, my vicious despair abandoned me like a burglar fleeing a robbery. I dropped the knout. "Game over, man."
4
- Started
- 2011-10-04 18:33:36
- Finished
- 2013-10-24 15:56:15
4 Comments
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KieferSkunk Oct 24 2013 @ 17:28
Hah! FoldingStory successfully derailed. My work here is done. ;) (Full disclosure: My derail was folded more than a year ago.)
hamstak Oct 24 2013 @ 17:57
Derailing is what good folders do. A FoldingStory is a train wreck waiting to happen, and we are but the means to ensure it.
KieferSkunk Oct 24 2013 @ 18:15
Oh sure, but you have to admit that the really cohesive stories are pretty awesome too. There was one story a little while ago where my ending fold, completely accidentally, tied into the beginning fold absolutely perfectly. That's a pretty good feeling. :)
PurpleProf Oct 24 2013 @ 18:16
I had to look up the word "knout." OY! LOLed at 49erFaithful's "pinch and roll."