It was time for Arty McGunnelwhale's elevenses.

It was time for Arty McGunnelwhale's elevenses. He padded down to the galley for a strip of dried cod and a tin of hard cider.

Arty McGunnelwhale found a dead captain instead. Mutiny. Only 20 minutes out of Port Royal too. Someone had broken a barrel of hard cider over the Captain's head.

It was a gruesome scene, the cider mixing with the blood and the alcohol not quite able to mask the stench. They could have at least waited until

The odour police arrived, bringing their cleanup equipment and gas masks to pass out. Officer Sjgfgucz was quick to call the paramedics. Fifty people breathed that toxic sludge!

I stared in horror as the fifty humans changed... they were twisted, their bodies melting down into a stew of ones and zeros- corrupted code. They had formed a virus. And they were

trying to climb into my pc & infect it! Suddenly, in flew a muscular man caped & wearing yellow spandex with a large "N" on the chest. Norton! "Where'd they go?" he asked urgently.

"They went in the corner, in the wastebasket, but they did clean up after themselves. I appreciated that", I replied pointing to the wastebasket in the corner. Superhero Norton did

what any reasonable super hero would do, he grabbed the offal-filled wastebasket and flew it out to the middle of the ocean and dumped it. "Yeay Norton!" I called to him as he

zoomed past me, his cape fluttering in his self-made breeze. "You're the BEST!" I called after him. Norton turned, smiled & saluted me. It was a moment I would never, ever forget.