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"Soooo, how many grandmothers DO you have?"

  • "Soooo, how many grandmothers DO you have?" I asked my student who didn't turn his paper in on time (again). "And how many of them are still alive?"

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  • My eight-year-old student looked at me calmly, appraisingly. "17 grandmothers that I know of. And they are all still alive, within me. I attend their funerals for the sake of other

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  • dead people. I like other dead people, not this dead person here. Why, this stiff here? Barely know him. It's the cool dead people I like." The Reverend closed his book, silence fe

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  • ll. The congregation didn't even shuffle. They heard a bus passing and the clock striking 3. "Get out!" yelled The Reverend, "& take your coffin & your flowers with you. I'm sick

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  • of your hypocrisy, and I'm sick of your holier-than thou attitudes! Get out before I bring out the paddle!"

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  • “Seriously,” The funky gremlin of a child barked! “And what makes you think a spanking or two is some sort of determinant?” // “Same,” The less funky fiend added with rolled eyes.

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  • I couldn't remember why I spoke to either of them. I'm funky, I thought, a funky gremlin child and I don't have to put up with this from a being less funky than myself. Rick James

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  • is funky too, especially when he runs a few laps around the school track fully clad in paper bags and aluminium foil. You can smell the funk off of him, like that one girl

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  • who was pushed down the concrete staircase during the pep rally. And who can blame the children who did it? Although they belonged to a militant brach of the Cub Scouts, she was to

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  • o drunk to care. She'd tried to sell her soul to the Devil, but there were no takers.

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1 Comments

  1. PurpleProf Dec 10 2015 @ 01:54

    Interestingly, this is finals week at my university. Grandmothers are still dying in record numbers.

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