He stood 6 feet 8 inches and was chiseled

He stood 6 feet 8 inches and was chiseled muscle from calves to traps. Intelligent, worldly, a terror with the ladies. Also, his name was Frances. This meant that

the gift shop at Pissweak World had a beaded bracelet with his name on it. Frances wore his novelty bracelet with pride as he stepped out of the amusement park gates towards

Dr Angry Pants laughed in Frances' face. "Muhahaha, broken bracelet, Muhahaha!" Never before has there been so much evil in a SlushPuppy tent, but then again never has a villain as

sadistic as Dr. Angry Pants been so intent on destroying bracelets & melting the SlushPuppies. Frances showed no expression & instead calmly unzipped Dr. Angry Pants, exposing him

-ation and chiton underneath. Frances had no idea Dr. Angry Pants was of Greek origin. She beamed at him, exclaiming, "Olive your style!" At this he softened and smiled tightly.

Frances held Mr Angry Pants' hand. "I understand," she soothed. "We're all worried that Greece will win Eurovision tomorrow. Hosting next year would bankrupt you all yet again."

Mr. Pants shook off her hand. "But don't you see," he continued to sob, "the whole thing is fixed! Italy is small potatoes. The PIIGS...no. It's a larger game...a horrid, evil

game, like Risk, a giant, multi-dice game, with festering armies, embittered non-employed players chomping at the bit to cheat without enough table to hold the gameBOARD!' He sobbe

d all over my tacky red shoes. I wanted to kick him in the face then and there, but his tale had touched me in a warm, moist, bleeding spot, and I knew I would have dreams tonight.