Absolutely the worst thing he had ever done

Absolutely the worst thing he had ever done was to look inside that case. He should have known from the stench

that death was in there, waiting to be let out and find it's next victim. He knew he was in trouble.

He had seen Army of Darkness enough times to know that all he needed to do was say "This... is my boomstick!" and he'd

be able to fly. Having nowhere else to go, he shot straight up as fast as he could, and didn't stop until........

THWACK! That tree was a HELL of a lot closer than he thought. He rubbed his temples and the welts melted away. Okay, one more try, he thought and readied himself to

head butt the squirrel again. The damned thing was too fast as WHAM, he rammed his head into the tree again. Maybe it was brain damage, but he could swear the squirrels were

chanting derisive treachery aimed directly at his mother's virtue; the most jarring of which rang too true to be random. Abruptly the chanting ceased, an eerie silence fell

down the grand canyon. Everyone looked over the edge to watch it. That's when his Hell's Angels friends kickstarted their hogs, half of the chanters were startled and fell

into iambic pentameter. The horror! Every stanza of the chant echoed into the canyon and back in perfect rhythm. Mounting their hogs, the inferno cherubim (local chapter)

chanted, "Beware the tawdry tumult of the rich / It leaves the sucker sulking in a ditch / No matter that he can't tell which is which / Our mom may be a sow, but she's a

real stitch. Manoman could Momma rock a knock knock joke. Artie chokes three for a dollar- that one still makes me laugh out loud. Orange you glad I didn't say knock knock. LOL!

But the time for joking is over. Chester began to unlock the nether-worldly mystery that would soon define his

personality. He was rather nervous. He felt like he was wishing for slytherin, but certain he was going to be Hufflepuff. The box whirred, clanked, then slid smoothly open.

Knowledge is sometimes a blessing, but in this instance a curse. Quick swallow the memory eraser pill and see if that saves you from damnation!

So little Johnny swallowed the red pill Morpheus offered and when he awakened he was....BALD...and cold but mostly....BALD! Just then a man walked in with no introduction saying..

"CURSE YOU, FOUL WITCH! A plague upon your house! You will rue the day you stole my wife and led her into the vile embrace of adultery! FOR THIS, YOUR MANHOOD SHALL BE MINE!"

And that I thought was what I was going to say...

Nobody had ever prepared me for this situation. The only thing I could say was the truth, "why does it feel like you've caught me with my pants down?"

"because i have" said the bad guy, it turns out that he had forgotten to put on his belt this morning. worse yet, he was wearing blue's clue's underwear. the bad guy had ate his pi