"And you will bow down to me and you will

"And you will bow down to me and you will rejoice in my teaching." The man opened his eyes and looked up. He was certainly mad, or so I imagined. His crooked smile, his silly hat,

and his "lumpy hourglass" physique made for an odd prophet. But Mr. Peanut was a gifted orator. Even the Pistachios, who were tough nuts to crack, were moved by his parables about

puns, terrible and lowly. The puns, not the parables. He would doff his top hat, and lean on his cane while he cleaned his monocle, detailing the boring pun formula. Until five

p.m. He switched back to parables, telling them of the mustard seed, & what happens to bad nuts. A pharisee yelled "peanuts aren't nuts, the'yre legumes!". He dropped his monocle

Elvis Plate Memorabilia. If he was going to fly Elvis's plane, the time was now. The Graceland Tour Guide bent down to help him. He took an Elvis scarf and

sang: "Hungry hungry hungry I want food in my tummy and I'm thinking about eating you. Kinda like cookies, kinda like waffles...NOW!" He stole into Elvis's plane and TOOK OFF!

But there was little gas in the planes engine! that's right when the magical powers vested inside my intestines sprang to life from the aforementioned musical food diddy and I had

parped enough gas to fire up the engines and rocket us home. The landing was a little bumpy but overall the journey was a complete success. I was offered a prestigious role at

NASA, but preferred the role I got at the local community theatre. I've had enough adventure lately to last me a lifetime. The only drama I want now is Waiting for Godot.