It was on an endless loop. Eternally. Forever.

It was on an endless loop. Eternally. Forever. "I am job." Robin Williams said in Mrs. Doubtfire. Weird. Creepy. Over and over again, "I am job."

I woke up with a jolt. Mrs Doubtfire was on the TV and the curtains were drawn. Except they weren't my curtains and this wasn't my sofa. Three hounds were sitting on the sofa oppos

I pretended to still be asleep as I tried to work out how to get out of this situation. I did not want to end the night smelling like dog, cigars, and cheap booze, again. I had one

last chance with Hortense and was not about to blow it. I put out the dog and the cigar, poured the booze down the toilet and brushed my teeth so hard that my gums bled. But I

forgot to do the sniff test, & Hortense was really picky about B.O. I mean a little bit of day old arm pit & she'd just fly off the handle so I smeared what I though was

Right Guard Xtreme gel under my arms. Moments later, when the smell only worsened, & I heard Grampa whining about misplacing his calf's foot jelly, I wondered what that substance

Was called, so I could make it at home and then sell it legally. I needed some source of independent income because Rattus Norvegicus was going belly up and I would be laid off.

After tireless search I found a dealer. This gentleman had the goods. Three whole packages of florescent bulbs and at least a dozen swimming caps. Finally I could start production

The perfect cover for my massive meth operation. My meth was so pure it was a crystal blue. They call me Heisenberg. Used too actually. Because not too long ago, I died.