"Pipes, pipes, pipes" he wheezed, "you'd

"Pipes, pipes, pipes" he wheezed, "you'd think that, as a plumber, I'd be pretty damned sick of the things by now. And, you know what?" He paused to spit, noisily, onto the tarmac,

which made my stomach flip over. A burst of vomit bounced off the back of my throat. What a disgusting plumber, and so boring. By I was a flight attendant, "Sir, please board the p

Lane and be quiet so some passengers can sleep." I knew I wouldn't sleep. I politely sat down and looked around. The newspapers were handed out for free. A way to pass the time.

ever found to be helpful in these sort of situations. It was always hard to get through these, especially with those annoying llamas, but books were the amazing help I needed.

I quickly snatched up a book, knocking several others to the ground. "Llamas, llamas..." I mumbled to myself as I frantically thumbed through the pages. It was getting terribly

past my bedtime, but dammit! I HAD to finish my research! I lashed myself mentally with a wet noodle (again), reminding myself never, ever to procrastinate on my assignments again!

Maybe I’ll just copy off of someone, or just pay them to do my assignment for me. Maybe I’ll sleep with someone and I’ll get a pass that way. There’s more than one way to

roast this weasel for a Saturday barbecue in the South! Sure, I've never had to stoop this low in the past, but I've never had a professor who was this short either. Maybe I'll

just microwave him with his googly professor glasses to give a psychedelic glow and add a couple of uncooked up Easter eggs for good measure. Times up. Pop goes the Weasel!