"Alright, who was the nimrod who ground down

"Alright, who was the nimrod who ground down a mascara pencil in my automatic pencil sharpener!" The office was silent but all eyes fell on

Ben Hunter, whose mascara had already been running over the mistake. It was difficult for him to be both an avatar of Nimrod of Babylon and an office worker these times. His boss

the Chief of the American World Police wanted to go in with guns blazing but Ben Hunter was not about to be manipulated by the office corruption. He knew that arbitration was

a farce and mediation was for suckers. No, Ben would have things his way and the Chief could get bent if he thought any differently. Ben's' plan was to short sell the hell out of

everything he owned & move to French Lick, Indiana. Ben also wanted to change his name to Geraldo so that the Chief & nobody else could ever find him. All he wanted was a little

buddy like the one the Skipper had. Someone thin and stupid he could whack with his hat but would never fight back. In French Lick, Indiana Geraldo (Ben) searched for HIS little bu

-bonic Plague Science Kit which he had buried along a stretch of state highway as a youth. His long search for a little buddy having proved futile, Indiana Geraldo wanted revenge.

"Revenge is best served cold," he thought smugly. "And revenge is sweet..." He paused, letting it sink in for a moment, before loudly exclaiming, "REVENGE IS ICE CREAM! WHY DIDN'T

Which is where he'd made his mistake. If he'd used Slimfast meal replacement shakes, he'd feel satisfyingly satiated whatever the occasion.