Dora the Explorer hated children. It was

Dora the Explorer hated children. It was the network's big secret. She lived in a retirement community that disallowed kids. She herself was 98, but due to Gary Coleman disease

she looked like she was 10. That had caused some trouble in the community.... she'd gone out of her way to prove she was actually 98. Dora was grateful for her Backpack, cause it

looked kind of like a giant raisin if she turned it inside out. What little girl would carry around a giant raisin? Once she had proved her elderly status, Dora was able to get

into R-rated movies. As Dora settled in with some Sno-Caps, an usher approached. "Ma'am, your map depicts Montenegro as independent. It's too young to see the film." Dora rolled up

a monster spliff, lit it, and blew the smoke in the usher's face. "Hit the bricks pal. You don't want any trouble here." The usher's jaw dropped and he left. Dora drank her slurpee

while admiring how he took another drag on the mummie. It took real skill to wrap one properly.Having the Halloween shindig in the old Hitchcock Cinema was a blast.Herman got a buz

off of some old gum left under a cinema seat. The mummy was getting impatient at being wrapped, & Anubis was clucking his tongue at the wrapper's poor technique, so he left. Herman

knew that Anubis had left the cinema entirely. Leaving the mummy wrapper to be told by Herman that his technique lacked finesse. Herman crawled under his seat and grabbed the gum

rolling along the floor and attracting dust from the carpet like a giant Swiffer. "It's a degrading way to earn a living," he said on his first night out. Then the mites attacked.