The dictator bequethed his right-hand man

The dictator bequethed his right-hand man the oil fields to the North and his armored tank division. Unknown to the dictator, his right-hand man was the leader of the resistance.

The dictator's right hand man was a leader of the resistance to banning plastic bags at grocery stores. While he maintained the oil fields and tank division, he was moonlighting

as the head monkeywrencher for paper and reusable bags. He was the guy that'd loosen up the handles on the paper bags so your milk carton would fall out and smash your toe. He also

made sure to put your eggs in the same bag as the heaviest thing you bought so they broke. But neither of those things made him laugh as much as whenever he

'd help little old ladies out with their groceries, then try to hit on them while in the parking lot, giving a whole new meaning to the term "bagger." He smirked as he stuffed

more groceries into the bag. The checker rolled her eyes, " You are such tool, Ted." Ted, smiled his slimiest smiled. "It works out more times then you'd think' , he said with a

smirk. "Can I add," Ted added, "that the beige of your uniform matches your teeth & your eyes so well that I'll never make toast without you in my mind." She scanned 3 cans of soup

before picking one out. "Just admit it, Ted. You'll never be good enough for me." She chuckled as she cracked open the soup and drank from it. She paused when she saw Ted held a

box of chocolates and flowers. "Will you be my Valentine?" he said in an impish voice. She stared blankly for a second before replying. "Oh, Ted.