I woke up hungry. Hungry for justice. Hungry

I woke up hungry. Hungry for justice. Hungry for change. I blindly put on a shirt, opened the creaky fold-away door, and grabbed a bag of Bugles. Revolution was at my doorstep

so I greeted it with a face full of pepper spray. That's how justice and change is served in my neck of the woods, so you better like your rights extra spicy. Smiles and promises

don't get you very far here in the Fantastic Woods, where no one smiles much anymore, anyway. No one ever realizes that the place these children's stories came from is actually

from the time, when Fantastic Woods were a beautiful place to be. But now you need to be careful. Why there's always something wicked waiting for you behind every tree. If you ente

r, be prepared. "I'm not afraid" said the shoesoler's diminutive thirdborne. "Armed only with this shoehorn, I will face the curse of the Woods and lift it." And so he went, alone.

He had ignored the admonition of the old man in the cave. "It's dangerous to go alone! Take this!". But he didn't take it, so the shoesoler's son was unprepared in the Cursed Wood

It was just him and a set of shoe soles. "At least, I don't have to worry about the soles of my Nike Air Max's wearing out," he said as he observed the bumpy path

of iniquity. He had good intentions, but it was the road to hell. Of course at the time, he had no idea. He laced up his soles, gulped a gallon of Gatorade & took off, confident

that he could get there. As the flames of Hell became increasingly prominent, he felt like his bladder was going to explode. Maybe that gallon of Gatorade was a bad idea. He jumped

and started peeing frantically, trying to douse the flames in an area just big enough to safely land. Success! Not a bad idea after all. Walking away he marveled at the close call.