I pulled up to Lunar Outpost 43, spent and

I pulled up to Lunar Outpost 43, spent and filthy. "Lemme get 2 proteins, a carbo, and a double rehydrated Absinthe." I turned to the Martian next to me. "Looong day." It

opened its third eye, made an undulating gargle with its manibles and slammed face first onto the bar. "Make this Martian another one of those, and the same for me."

He hated his fifth grade teacher. She was gross and ugly, and always joined him for cafeteria lunch. It was awkward because he couldn't really leave. As the lunched she would

grade his math homework. "I'll change the F to an B if you pass me your Capri Sun," she said. He wanted to pass, but his Lunchable was salty. His mom also ate lunch with him, so he

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read the posting. "Dear HELP!", I replied, "Try plugging the keyboard into USB more tightly. Yours,Doc Rambooster. But HELP!'s more urgent followup "N0 r3ally!evil m0nkiesRcoming4U

" quite disturbed me. I realized that this was no small matter. I contacted my boss at Geek Squad™ TECH Support to deal with the evil monkeys. I heard clanging in the coffee room

but my boss was a white collar jackass & said "Knowing how to fix problems is why I pay you. You're fired." I would have to try turning the monkeys off & then on again myself. I

joked. Nobody laughed. The pretty girl found my joke so shit she fire her whaling harpoon right in my face. The neurological damage was immense. The upside is I now like dubstep.