"...Finally, I wish to express my deepest

"...Finally, I wish to express my deepest regret for every fold I ever submitted which was inane, disruptive, ill-conceived, or obscene. This concludes my last will and testament."

I suppose this made sense, as that fold ended with my possessions being blasted into space by fictional characters, and dung beetles being served at my funeral. The apology ended

our dispute & we went back to being friends with benefits again. I felt more relieved than I expected, realizing that my FoldingStory friends were the only friends I ever had.

Foldingstory friends turned your worst nightmares into riproaring good fun. They'll do 90% of the work and ask only that you liked them in return. A foldingstory friend enables you

to survive your exile on the planet of the crazy people, when the offworlders ignore your distress calls and the bus to utopia never comes. Foldingstory friends know how to

broadcast emergency instructions. If you are reading this, help is on the way. Shut the shades, prop the door knob with a chair, and listen for the honk of the bus to Utopia.

Bring your pets. However, no luggage is allowed on the bus. All your needs - food, deodorant, white tunics etc. will be provided. But be prepared for disappointment. Utopia isn't

all it's cracked up to be." I grabbed my miniature poodle and waited for the shuttle to take us to Eden. The airport was so clean and ordered, but it felt dead--like a prison. When

I arrived at the airport, a man wearing a suite ushered me into a dark room. He said "Listen here son, you can't be carrying