Felix Underbutton danced in the spring air.

Felix Underbutton danced in the spring air. He twirled down Aspen Lane, the scent of Beatrice's hand filling him with joy. But the small, swarthy gentleman respected her marriage a

little too much, so he never actually spoke to Beatrice. Thus, Felix was completely unaware of her husband's untimely demise, brought about by an inter-dimensional trash can that

teleported him to a sentient recycling center. Beatrice's husband became a Thunt apparition mistaken for a flying hippo. Meanwhile Felix oblivious smelled her perfume on his hand

. He'd never wash that hand again. He wrapped his scented hand in SaranWrap to retain her smell forever. Felix would do anything to win Beatrice's heart. Anything. "Felix, go get

your big bag of goodies. I'm craving something sweet." Felix, being the lovestruck, street-savvy man that he was, quickly returned. Yet he was hesitant to give Beatrice his cookies

because he had secretely laced them with mountain lion meat. As she started reaching for a cookie, he broke into a cold sweat and started towards her. "Beatrice! Stick this

in your pipe and smoke it... I love you!" While Beatrice was agape with astonishment, Dante tossed the mountain lion cookies to a small raccoon which lay curled at Beatrice's feet

, gently painting her toenails deep cerise with exquisite care. Upon seeing the cookies, the Raccoon smiled

the way only a raccoon can. He felt fantastic, sort of free of social constraints. This is why he was able to drudge up that horrid word that he said to her while she painted her