I'd had a pretty good life scamming rich

I'd had a pretty good life scamming rich lonely widows at their estate sales. Things took a turn for the worse when I met that grey panther Ethel Mitallenwasser.

Ethel had wise in her eyes, and she spotted the grifter in me as soon as I stepped on her property. The scam I was trying died as soon as I

spoke with a voice that was remarkably similar to Baloo from Jungle book. Ethel slammed the door on my

foot, the poor girl obviously confused as to why she was growing grey fur across her body. I opened the door and watched as her body plumped out - the Bear Necessities indeed!

I woke up suddenly, and all thoughts of werebears were erased from my mind. I was consumed with the fear of my real problem: the impending Pancake Prohibition.

But what if the root of this Perilous Pancake Prohibition was not, as he had claimed, killer wasps, but the werebears themselves. I realised I had to act quickly if I wanted to

stave off the almost inevitable collapse of society; first the pancakes would go, yes, but it would not end there. Next would fall the syrup industry, the butter industry; and,

the cigarette industry. No one would have thought such an industry would ever fall in a lifetime they had lived, but this wasn't like any other lifetime. It was one where people

...right after he finished reading his ex's text messages. And stealing nude self-shots out of peoples' Gmail accounts. And reading Wikipedia. Yup, any day now. Taking 'em down.