I'd had a pretty good life scamming rich

I'd had a pretty good life scamming rich lonely widows at their estate sales. Things took a turn for the worse when I met that grey panther Ethel Mitallenwasser.

Ethel had wise in her eyes, and she spotted the grifter in me as soon as I stepped on her property. The scam I was trying died as soon as I

foot, the poor girl obviously confused as to why she was growing grey fur across her body. I opened the door and watched as her body plumped out - the Bear Necessities indeed!

I woke up suddenly, and all thoughts of werebears were erased from my mind. I was consumed with the fear of my real problem: the impending Pancake Prohibition.

But what if the root of this Perilous Pancake Prohibition was not, as he had claimed, killer wasps, but the werebears themselves. I realised I had to act quickly if I wanted to

stave off the almost inevitable collapse of society; first the pancakes would go, yes, but it would not end there. Next would fall the syrup industry, the butter industry; and,

the cigarette industry. No one would have thought such an industry would ever fall in a lifetime they had lived, but this wasn't like any other lifetime. It was one where people

had access to all world knowledge in their pockets. A world where nothing was private anymore. A world where one man could take down a government, and he was just the man to do it.

...right after he finished reading his ex's text messages. And stealing nude self-shots out of peoples' Gmail accounts. And reading Wikipedia. Yup, any day now. Taking 'em down.