Their marriage was over before they'd even

Their marriage was over before they'd even met.

You see, David and Zipporah's parents were Jewish and had arranged their marriage on the day Zipporah was born. The first day they met was at David's Bar Mitzvah. Zippy took one

look at David's acne-ridden face flush with too much manischewitz and quailed at the thought of being Mrs Zipporah Hillel. So she decided after her own Bat Mitzvah, she'd run away.

She hitched a slow steamer to a Kibbutz in Israel. At thirteen, they had her plowing the fields. Zipporah soon lost ties with her Facebook friends and cell phone and became one

heckuva farmer. Legend told how she could turn a bean and a dirt clod into a field of plenty. By the age of 24, Zipporah managed a 4,000 acre organic vegetable farm, a 900 acre

wildlife reserve, & a 100 acre wood inhabited by real life counterparts of Winnie the Pooh, Piglet,Tigger & the rest. Zipporah wanted to film Winnie the Pooh with live animals but

"Why did I think honey was safe to eat?" Eeyore moaned. He shoulda f-in knowed better, his cousin Alan reminded him. But now death was all around them. They had to

call the priest and gather the next-of-kin immediately. As Eeyore's loved ones gathered round him and Father Murphey gave him his last rites, Eeyore whispered his final words:

"Ohhh-kayyy, thanks for noticin' me". Father Murphey took a swig of gin from his hip flask and rushed off to perform the service at his next funeral. The end.