... and we will throw the vegetable peeler

... and we will throw the vegetable peeler for free!" He finished his spiel. The folding chairs were empty except for way in the back, a lone figure waited in a trenchcoat."Hello?"

It was a representative from the trench coat maffia. The rep asked the salesman, "No this juicer, how many would you need for say...you know...something as big as a human

carrot?" the salesman raised an eyebrow "Well, I reckon for such a big carrot you would need my new Heavy Duty XTra Juicer XL! You are in luck my friend! This little baby is

tough as a nut. It can juice nuts too by the way. In fact, I can't think of anything this miracle of modern science can not turn to juice! And all that healthy goodness for just

9.95$ plus shipping & handling. Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back! I ordered the Juicer & juiced gravel & corn husks. The gravel juice made my voice gravelly & husky.

But I was hoping for starchy & husky, so I ordered the juicer's potato sandwich attachment on layaway. I threw in some rasp-berries to maintain my gravelly man-cacophony and some

gooseberries for raspiness. Finally I squeezed in a banana just because I can. I put it on pulsating power blend with integrated reverse thrust & poured it down the sink. I hate sm

oothies but get a thrill outta my blender. It's therapy, really. I've juiced every single one of my past partners in that blender, dumped 'em down the sink. No one will ever know.

And even if they do, it'll never show. So fuck, let it go. Do a bowl of blow. When I'm high I glow, tell bad bitches to go slow. I be kickin it solo. I met Serpent Turpentine, he w