"Look, I'm sorry, I just really like swords!"

"Look, I'm sorry, I just really like swords!" I stammered. "You killed 19 people!" My friend, Frank, bellowed. I couldn't help it. They were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I would have stabbed Frank too, had I not needed a ride home. Besides, I was wearing my favorite shirt and didn't want to deal with dry cleaning it again. "Can we just forget it?"

. It was at times like these, where I considered that, as the driver, and as a suicidal sociopath, I could just take me and all of my passengers out with one flick of the wheel

. It was inevitable. Afterwards, they all thanked me as I paid for the seven course meal for fifty with my ex-wife's credit card. Everyone needs to go to hell on a full stomach.

We all said our goodbyes and I got into my car. As I was driving home, I hit a semi and died. I descended into hell. "Welcome," Satan said politely. He was a pretty chill dude.

In fact, Satan and I played Mahjong on Friday nights and went to the country club on Mondays and, pretty soon, I forgot that I had died.

Satan had a wicked slice, his blades were razor sharp, & he'd swear up devils & brimstone when he landed in a sandtrap but on the whole I found him & death amiable golf partners

Yes, Death & Satan--fantastic golf partners. But when Sin joined us to make up a four, we hit trouble. She would move her golf ball with her toe when we weren't looking. Finally, I

shouted oppa Gangnam style! *music plays in the background* oppa oppa oppa oppa Gangnam style AAAAAAAA!!!! Sexy lady! oppa oppa oppa Gangnam style!