It was in the days of junkfood prohibition.

It was in the days of junkfood prohibition. Ed was crossing the canadian border with a duffle full of twinkies made to look like bananas. The twinkies highly prized on the black

market since the collapse of the Twinkie Kingdom in the United States. The new communist regime outlawed junkfood including 'snack cakes'. Ed wore a fake moustache to help smuggle

the Little Debbie recipes tattooed on his upper lip. A border patrol/health food agent stopped him: "Are you smuggling junk food, young man?" Ed said, "Read my lips" and shot him

knowing glance. "Look officer, I will put this twinkie on the table and walk away." The health cop drooled at the golden sponge cake bribe. it had been years since his last donut.

The health cop noticed that the Twinkie emanated a golden aura. He thought he'd heard angels singing. He reached out with trembling fingers to touch the Twinkie bribe, sweat drippi

would tenderly massage any wax into it. His hands were undulating it, and it was thick and full like a beaver pelt, he stroked it and stroked it with a twinkle in his eye, then he

went flubalubalubathwaaack! The twinkle in his eye got worse as it started undulating all on its own! Then.. Rocky's theme on his cell, time was up. He picked up the bucket of wax

and poured it all over his teacher for giving him that F. he knew he was going to get in trouble but the person in his head kept telling him to do it. over and over again.

He didn't want to follow the person in his head's instructions but it was the only way to make the ringing in his ears stop. He felt a tremendous pressure building inside and he di