A young girl came speeding down the street.

A young girl came speeding down the street. She waved her hands at me and started yelling.

I looked at her briefly, decided she was but a hooligan, and carried on my way. No sane person would have done that in public, or private for that matter.

My guilt finally got the better of me and at the next exit I turned back to pick up the hitchhiker. I never did find her -- instead I picked up a couple of ex-cons hitching to

Kalamazoo. How did I know they were ex-cons? Because they told me so. Wait a minute...that means... I peered behind me in my rearview at the two ex-cons sitting in my backseat.

Yes, they had on masks, but I thought that they were ex-coons, not ex-cons. OMG, what a fool I am. I thought that they were talking raccoons, not criminals in my backseat!

Great, and I've been feeding them graham crackers by hand, too, and here I thought I was kind of like Grizzly Adams, but with raccoons. The Ex-Cons were torn, they enjoyed the crac

kling fireworks from the nearby Alphabet Soup Day celebrations. The ex-cons decided to join in the festivities and cook up a large vat of soup. It was too late, when they noticed

that it was too late. The ex-cons gave a look like "Geez, it's too late." All they could do is watch the fireworks. Wait, those weren't fireworks...invasion! From another world

where they have three legs and square heads and don't cotton to us zipping all our trash into deep-space! We cons were asked to fend them off for a cheesy movie deal to fund NASA!