I had been searching for the "God Particle"

I had been searching for the "God Particle" using the newest, fastest and most sophisticated equipment in the Galaxies. Then she came, not a physicist, not scientist at all but a

Lit major. She had a copy of Chaucer in her slender, gentle hand. I'm a scientist and I don't believe in fate, but

I do believe in wearing down women who don't like you by being their friend and pitiful. So I told her I would carry her Chaucer book and started telling her lab jokes and beaker

trivia. That seemed to go over well so I asked her if she'd ever played a little game called Just The Tip. Just for a second. Just to see what it felt like. I never even

batted an eye as I asked her this, and she seemed to consider it. I began unzipping my trousers, but then she had a change of heart. Without any warning she grabbed a spatula and

made me pancakes with orange juice on the side! I was so delighted. I missed a good breakfast. Say what you want about sex, but nothing beats a rasher of bacon and buttered toast.

At least the sausages didn't make my rectum feel like it was tearing in two, and the toast? Tasted a damn sight better than ejaculatory fluid! Breakfast is the best thing in bed.

the proprietress, but flicked the egg globs at the back of her head when she turned away. Then I sneaked out the back door without paying. I wanted my "Lunch on Futon" experience.

I'd been upgraded to Lunch on Geisha. It's hard drinking soup off a naked lady, but I had a good go. She objected to steak flambé so we shared a ham sandwich. The ice cream was fun