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Rrrriing rrring. Click. "Hi there, Phil

  • Rrrriing rrring. Click. "Hi there, Phil here from Homecon. Do you have a quick minute?" "I don't own time. It's a river." ".. greeaat. How many persons live in your household?" "

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  • Four, oh wait, does that include pets? I mean ten." "Actually, we..." "Hold on, CAN'T YOU SEE I'M ON THE PHONE! QUIT TEASING YOUR SISTER WITH THE PYTHON! now where were we?"

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  • "I believe you were ordering gnomes to work on the garden," "Ah yes! Ten gnomes, these pythons keep eating my workers and, oh, they just ate my daughter. I told those kids!"

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  • "Sir, the pythons are invading the castle," the squire said, scrabbling in and jamming the door. The king took up arms, and started to beat the window open with them.

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  • "Sir, give me back my arms!" the squire cried. "Not until you learn to keep your hands to yourself," said the king. "*cough* My daughter." The pythons burst through the main gate

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  • and grabbed hold of the king. "Get us on the plane" said the pythons.

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  • But the king would not allow the snakes to enter. He pointed to a sign and said, "You have to be THIS tall to go on the plane ride, sorry."

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  • The snakes merged and turned into a huge dragon. The monster leaned forward and swallowed the king. Then grabbed the plane and threw it against the castle. All was left in ruins.

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  • That was, until a mighty warrior rose from the ashes, eager to seek revenge. Armed with only a spear in one hand and a copy of Taylor Swift's 1989 in the other, he

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  • Dyed his hair red and said, "gotcha!"

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