Would you rather streak naked through your

Would you rather streak naked through your office OR be known as the office farter?

For sixteen year old Derdie Haberdasher, he was both, by choice and by profession. Derdie's job requires him to walk the cubicle halls completely nude, and by choice, he farts.

They are as melodious as they are malodorous. He sometimes does it into zip lock bags so he can open them in crowded theaters. Derdie Haberdasher was what you would call a

in-the-hospital-around-ill-patients which was less successful. Deride was ordered by the hospital admin to wear underpants. Research had shown fecal matter had escaped

and had accrued into the rough shape of a hospital catering assistant; horrifyingly, this pseudo-dinner lady, literally full of shit, was wheeling a trolley around the wards and o

ffering Vegemite sandwiches to the patients. Her foot steps left a disgusting brown residue on the shiny waxed floors. This can't be sanitary, I thought. I picked up the bucket

and placed it over my head, not wanting to observe anything unsettling. See no evil, blah blah blah. The screaming, however, continued, as did the evil flavor which invaded my

space like a plane passenger who had accidentally fallen asleep on my lap. I was at a loss for words, but I didn't want to disappoint Cindy. So, I

ran up the stairs and fetched her water bottle anyway. It was an effort, I can tell you. My legs ached like crazy and just as I reached her, they turned to jelly. I fell to the