I'm a lonesome hound dog. I am greek and

I'm a lonesome hound dog. I am greek and I battle giant aliens. I also am brave and not afraid of ohms! And lastly, I can dance and play a fiddle on

the most treacherous of planets. It's the best way to earn cash, which is good because celestial flea spray doesn't buy itself. I'm also probably one of the few dogs who

churches advocating theological fatalism. We dogs chose to lead the will-less humanoids as seeing-will dogs. "Look, a decision to be made," I barked in the drive-thru. My humanoid

was thinking: chips or potato wedges? Even though the menu said 'fries', he was multi-lingual in fried food and knew these were chips by some sort of magic. His seeing-will dog

yapped "Pomme Frites" and the decision was made. His seeing-will dog was once again correct...Humanoid's best friend, indeed! "Good boy!" barked the seeing-will dog, whose name was

GoGo McButterpants. So, my seeing-will dog and I were chowing down on the overpriced Pomme Frites, when GoGo McButterpants started choking. Good thing I'm trained in CPR! I grabb

ed GoGo McButterpants to do start CPR, but was having trouble giving mouth to mouth to my seeing eye dog. I called out for someone to call 911 as I pumped on the bitch's heart.

I had to slide the bitch's entire snout into my mouth in order to give rescue breathing, which is the day I learned the hard way how much I truly LOVE beastiality and the smell of

cat's piss in the morning. I joined an animal welfare centre to "help" out the animals. I would "rescue" all the animals by giving mouth to mouth... with tongue.