It started in mud, as many things do. A blubbering,

It started in mud, as many things do. A blubbering, steaming, stench escaped from there. And that's not all.

Something dark came up too. Sherie watched it slither out the other night. She said it was an ugly shade of blue-green. I didn't give a damn about the colour. I just wanted my

grey washed away. So I scooped up the blue-green sludge in my plastic-gloved hands and rubbed it into my head. After 20 minutes I looked in the mirror. My head was covered with

snakes. Excellent! My transformation into Medusa complete, I made my way to my first parrot training workshop with Gerald my untrainable Macaw on my shoulder snacking on my 'hair'

The instructor walked over to me. I knew what he was about to say so I just handed him the Macaw waver and the 100 dollop note and he shut up but not before saying, "Nice hair".

I had been warned that once I activated that trait, I wouldn't ever be able to turn if off. I would eventually see everybody as an enemy worthy of turning to stone. I said let me h

ave this ability, because though my power would eventually turn me insane, at least for a brief window of time I would be able to do some good.

I was a superhero with powers and should make a costume. The only materials I had were felt scraps and plastic wrap. That made a shitty costume, but I would soon be insane anyway.

I glued the felt scraps to my nipples, wrapped the plastic wrap around my face, and hopped on the bus to Chi-town. I met the love of my life that night... but that's another story.