I swam through murky water with trout darting

I swam through murky water with trout darting past & surfaced when I became entangled in some plants. Stan smiled broadly. "Great huh? I call it HYDRAPO for Hydroponic Aquaculture

"That's great" I replied, though I was less interested in Stan's underwater hobby then the seaweed wrapped around my leg. "Stan, I think your freak plant is pulling me back down!"

As I entered the trench it became filled with disco lighting and on the sea floor I could see neon fish dancing on the strobing dance floor. I felt the underwater disco boogie take

a hold of my seventh tentacle. Then I remembered: I am not a squid! I'm a renowned marine biologist. But it was too late. The transformation was in full effect. Soon, I would find

that more rubbery appendages had sprouted up around my nose. They flapped in my face yet boosted my senses. Suddenly I was overcome with the urge to burrow

. I dug under the fridge and emerged in the unlit interior. Not seeing was no problem as my star nose picked up the overwhelming scent of ham sandwich. My nose wrapped itself aroun

d the sandwich & I sat there, munching, thinking about how clever I was for finding my way into the fridge. Suddenly the door opened & the light came on! My star nose retracted

. Then I went back to the table and though some more about how clever I was. I'm so clever that I think, "Gosh, how can I be so clever." I don't have an answer which proves my clev

erness was a self-delusion. Oh my god. I'm not clever after all! I'm a cleaver! And that's why you have a splitting headache.