"And the nominations are.... Invasion of

"And the nominations are.... Invasion of the Bee Girls, The Brave Little Toaster, and

Spice World." *clap clap golf-clap* "The Oscar for best implementation of Unified Field Theory goes to.. The Brave Little Toaster." Toaster waddled to the stage with Blanky in tow.

Toaster forgot to unplug himself and blanky caught fire. Blanky screamed, piercing, shrieking, driving visions of agony into the Oscar crowd's hearts. Toaster stamped on Blanky's

tattered, smoking remains. "Noooo!" a little boy's voice screamed from the back. It was Linus. The crowd parted respectfully to let him through. The Brave Little Toaster sobbed.

He never had wanted to do this, but was groomed into it by his late grandma, who happened to have been the only known case of a human-beaver hybrid. It hadn't always been easy

being green, or being a well-behaved beaver-boy, for that matter. His grandmother had unknowingly wed an amphibian-man. "Oh dam," she said when he finally divulged his secret.

Still chuckling from her beaver pun, she waddled back into the den and sat on her chair. "It's fixable, no problem." He gulped.

This meant he had to work on his days off. Even beavers need a day off, he politely said. Larry, Curly and Moe showed up and were paid with a dinner consisting of pigs' feet

and beef entrail soup. Iggy Pop and his Stooges didn't get much better but at least their waitress was from FLA and knew how to walk on the wild side.