I know what you're thinking. You're thinking

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking 'Nope, he doesn't know what I'm thinking. How could he?' But I knew that. I knew you were thinking that I didn't know what you were thi

nking, see?" Jimmy's mind tricks surprised me. Heck, Jimmy himself was surprised by his own mind reading skills. That why he enrolled at the School for Gifted People of Professor

Cantaloupe. It wasn't an accredited university and had the reputation of being a diploma mill, but Jimmy didn't see any alternatives. He payed the $40,000 tuition for the year that

he studied abroad (via Skype) in Food Lion. Jimmy never told his folks that he was on the pre-med fruit track. The prof./manager explained the difference between banana bruises and

banana "contusions." The subtle differences in fruit injuries was lost on Jimmy. What he liked to do was dig up rotten fruit and dissect it. Then he thought of making a Fruit Monst

er out of the various fruit parts he'd preserved in his collection. The monster had a watermelon cranium, pomegranate compound eyes,dead man's fingers,a banana & two passion fruit

knees. This fruit monster had everything on the fruit flies, who were only made from fruit in the "you are what you eat" sense. The farmer's market closed and the monster began

to wonder if there was more to life. He hit the supermarket & instead of consuming more fruit he picked up whipping cream, sugar and walnuts. He was evolving into the Waldorf Sta

argue about it anymore. He's been so grouchy lately! I covered him in gauze, fed him a bowl of ice cream & we spent the night watching MASH reruns. He died happy.