He shouldn't have gone outside ... The crickets!

He shouldn't have gone outside ... The crickets! The crickets were so loud he couldn't think or see! But the towering Cricket Master Chi Chi Rico beckoned him to the town square,

where the townspeople would play a cricket match and then be rewarded with a great feast. The only catch was that the great Cricket Master Chi Chi Rico and his clan planned to eat

at Carl's Jr. I really wanted to eat at Long John Silver's. How could I get the great Cricket Master Chi Chi Rico and his clan to not go for a Double Western Bacon Burger?

I figured they wouldn't notice and just drove the bus to Long John Silver's instead. When we got out, Chi Chi Rico went inside to order a Double Western Bacon Burger. I watched as

The wind. Which is to say we achieved mobility by the interplay of variations in air pressure, temperature, & terrain. A sudden mountain of bacon was sure to have a bearing on our

altitude. In other words: it looked as though the sudden mountain of bacon would put a rather unruly end to our flight. "Assume crash positions" intoned the stewardess.

the bacon impacted across the aisles and punctured a hole in one of the rear windows sending the plane into a turbulent sideways drift. We were headed toward the ground at 500 kno

Ts and the lettuce and tomato imploded soon afterwards. The captain was agile enough to save some sandwiches for passengers while he enjoyed lox and bagels. Lives were saved.

Lives were wasted pursuing careers in in flight nude modeling for the blind. When their sandwiches were given to the crash survivors their pension plan collapsed as well.