It was Joe's idea to eat Tim. I ain't never
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It was Joe's idea to eat Tim. I ain't never liked anything more than beef and chicken, so the thought of eatin' Tim turned summersaults in my stomach. Still, 6 days without food
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gave Tim a succulent kinda glow that got me 'n Joe salivating. We never cooked nothin' like him before, so we googled "How to cook Tim" on a live forum.Minutes later, police sirens
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could be heard from across the street in the park where terrorists had blown up a Weinermobile. Welearned all that later, after we hate the succulent Tim. Me and Joe never ate anyo
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like Tim. He was a really nice guy and tasty. Truth be told, though, we didn't eat all of him. Neither Joe or I are into eating human organs. Instead we offered up Tim's organs for
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transplant. We figured that from our jobs at the morgue we'd get another crack at them eventually. The organ sales made us a lot of money which made cooking Tim really worth it.
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Everyone complimented us on our delicious meat stew, asked us how we prepared it. We told them it was a family secret. Turns out Tim had some use after all.
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Yes, some of you think Tim is a human. Now why on Earth would humans want to eat other humans...unless they are Pygmy Cannibals. Tim was an old mule who lived with two old maids.
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He was tiny & had one lame leg, but he was beloved by the two old maids, with whom he lived. Yes, they were all hungry & had nothing to give each other for Christmas except for
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shadow puppet plays. Tiny & unable to use his lame leg, his 3 character plays were pathetic. Together the 2 old maids put on robust 8 character plays. Their Hunger on Christmas was
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a huge hit on Broadway. The old maids celebrated their success at a fancy restaurant on Times Square. They toasted themselves as outside, in the snow, Tiny wept into his oatmeal.
8
- Started
- 2017-12-16 14:29:01
- Finished
- 2017-12-20 11:32:48
8 Comments
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MadWorld Dec 20 2017 @ 21:10
I was hoping someone would have picked up on the song Timothy, from 1971. I must be older than dirt.
Gibber Dec 20 2017 @ 22:08
I was born in 1966 and I remember Peter Paul & Mary "Puff the Magic Dragon" (1963) Herb Alpert "A Taste of Honey" (1965) Judy Collins "Both Sides Now" (1967) The 5th Dimension "Up, Up and Away" (1967) and Tiny Tim "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" (1968) But then everything's a blank until Paul McCartney & Wings "Live and Let Die" (1973) So I'm not sure exactly how old dirt is.
SlimWhitman Dec 20 2017 @ 23:13
As old as Tim?
LordVacuity Dec 21 2017 @ 01:38
There are some who do call him Tim, that much is true.
LordVacuity Dec 21 2017 @ 01:41
1962 here, in 1971 remembered Winchester Cathedral by Rudy Vallee in the 20s.
LordVacuity Dec 21 2017 @ 01:43
But that might have been in The universe next door.
Jimbeau Dec 21 2017 @ 10:42
Hulk Hogan and I were born on the same day.
Woab Dec 21 2017 @ 16:44
I remember the song "Timothy". We used to sing it at a burger joint where I worked, until the boss told us to stop it.