His horse was tired. He could tell by the

His horse was tired. He could tell by the way it was hanging its head. 'Come on Ol' Ben, just a few more miles' he pleaded and mused he was going to bring ol' tuber to the butcher

paper factory and force him to draw a totem pole of his life with magic markers. Then afterwards he would have to go on a solo because

filled destiny. Like Jonah before him, he ended up in the belly of a whale, but that comes at the end of our Tail. Father Walrus gave the man this advice, "Preach to the Oysters"

but their shells were all closed. Father Walrus was rather modern, and didn't condemn the clams for leading a bivalvular lifestyle. The man thought it sounded a bit fishy, but

he couldn't shake off his love of clams, no matter how hard he tried. Father Walrus picked up the tiny clam, kissed it tenderly and dashed a tear from his eye. His voice cracked as

Father Walrus tried to sing 'My heart will go on' to the clam. Clam love is not a pretty sight and can be upsetting to those with sensitive hearing. If you are blind and tone deaf

it might not bother you, but... Hmm,looked to me like Father Walrus was getting nowhere with the sexy little clam, who was passive aggressively ignoring him. He launched into "I am

Arthur, King of the Britons!" in an attempt to win his clammy prey over with humor. But she was unfamiliar with the comic stylings of the legendary British troupe and continued to

nag him about taking the kids to see Disney on Ice instead. As he sat there shivering in the dark ice arena, holding an overpriced bag of cotton candy, he dreamed of spam...a lot.