...when you say you 'love' me, do you mean

...when you say you 'love' me, do you mean like how you 'love' your snowmobile, or how you 'love' caribou hunting?"

I mean, I say i 'love pizza' and I love 'Mexican Death Metal music', and I also love 'Zombies VS Aliens' and I even love that movie 'Glitter', so when you say you 'love me' do you

means having KISS toss pepperoni slices at me.

I was screaming "...and party every day!" as some pepperoni hit me in my face. Those guys know how to rock with no restraints when it comes to pyrotechnics and pizza toppings.

Probably because they swapped Kraft parmesan for cocaine, and canned mushrooms for psilocybin ones. "How did you guys modify the crust, Gene?" I asked. He pointed to a vat of butte

r-nut squash and said, "Yackety Yeckety!" I hated Gene. He never shared his best crust recipes with me. Man, he made this crust this one time, it was like God's dandruff,

flaky and somehow...miraculous. Gene called it "Manna Crust" and he'd make it anytime his Jewish friends came over for dinner. So I broke into Gene's place and stole his recipes

his wife's red Jimmy Choo shoes and the ice from the freezer. I sold them all on Craig's list. Gene called me the next day and asked why I didn't take his wife too. I said

that I didn't have enough postage to send a package of that considerable weight. It's a good thing you can't hit people over the phone. A bad thing he knew my address.