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"What's the big deal if I was making out

  • "What's the big deal if I was making out with some other dude on the dance floor? I didn't know his name, so it didn't mean anything."

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  • and what do you mean giving some guy oral is considered real sex?" The counselor looked at him in disbelief, the doctor wanted to slug him with the giant Ben Franklin statue, but

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  • had a better idea. "In that case, I could go for some 'not real sex' right about now." the doctor said with a wink. This was either going to end with a blow job or a lawsuit.

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  • She exited the office wiping the corner of her mouth and dialed up her lawyer, Jackie Chiles. "Jackie, I've got a case for you. That's right, a doctor too. Mmm hmm. OK see you

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  • in an hour." What to do with the evidence for the next hour the only thing to do was to sit with my mouth closed and breath through my nose - thank god, Jackie could understand my

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  • cophogy and skipped into the woods to find some really good mushrooms, not these stinky ones that were now growing out of this disgusting mess I had right here. We waited for help

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  • when combi van full of hippies pulled up and offered us a ride. The hippies were going to search for magic mushrooms. We looked forward to enjoying shrooms on toast in the

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  • Bright sunlight because everyone wanted to see double rainbows. That always makes for a wonderful trip because

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  • the my little ponies come flying in with strawberry shortcake riding on their backs. It's like Supercute Heaven, at least for the first week and then, week after week it gets

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  • harder and harder to soak up the sugary sweetness. Then pancreases pack up and we all slip slowly into a diabetic coma. I know I've shattered your bourgeois sensibilities. Tough.

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