Be fruitful and multiply? Bitch please.
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Be fruitful and multiply? Bitch please. I'm gonna be fruitful and exponentiate.
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"But not until the fifth grade young man! now get back to your test paper!". And with that Mrs. Kurpleplop dashed all my childhood hopes and dreams . Yes, she was cranky and mean
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and her freakish purple hair scared me as much as the butt-crack stench from her yelling mouth repulsed me. I cowered over my fifth-grade exam, cloud-castles gone. But I was not
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feeling the acid yet. I wanted to turn in this 5th-grade exam with psychotic but genius answers, so I'd eaten a whole sheet of high-powered blotter acid...is the whiteboard
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a little crooked there? Unfortunately my plans at emulating Calvin (of Hobbes fame) went awry and I projectile vomited blotter acid on the student in front of me. All I felt was
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fear. I was sick but I didn't care about that. The Hideous Blob at the front of the classroom was watching me with an evil eye. It approached! No time to waste, I grabbed my raygun
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and fired a few bolts at the blob, but it had no effect. No, I thought, what is effective against blobs? I knew I had learned this somewhere, but now that I faced the real thing,
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Luckly, thie blob was sluggish allowing me use the field guide. From the pustules' violet sheen, it had to be Oswald's Purple Ooze. It recommend flambe at high temperatures
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Frying great purple blobs is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's all about preparation, planning and execution. I sidled up on Oswald's Purple Ooze with brandy and a griddl
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-e coated in ghee. The blobjacks were astonishingly delish; through some culinary miracle, there was enough to feed an army. Word spread quickly. We were invaded that evening.
6
- Started
- 2011-06-24 21:22:27
- Finished
- 2013-12-20 19:52:09
4 Comments
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lucielucie Dec 21 2013 @ 02:15
Comparing everything to 'making love to a beautiful woman' comes from a sketch show character called Swiss Toni.
49erFaithful Dec 21 2013 @ 09:32
Lol, something on your mind Lucie? Me too, me too.
lucielucie Dec 21 2013 @ 10:44
Commenting on folding stories is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You bang it all down, hit submit and then wait for some kind of response...
lucielucie Dec 21 2013 @ 10:54
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BXIbl2F6gs This is where this all comes from... anyway I'd better stop as you'll all start thinking I'm proper naughty.