Be fruitful and multiply? Bitch please.

Be fruitful and multiply? Bitch please. I'm gonna be fruitful and exponentiate.

"But not until the fifth grade young man! now get back to your test paper!". And with that Mrs. Kurpleplop dashed all my childhood hopes and dreams . Yes, she was cranky and mean

feeling the acid yet. I wanted to turn in this 5th-grade exam with psychotic but genius answers, so I'd eaten a whole sheet of high-powered blotter acid...is the whiteboard

a little crooked there? Unfortunately my plans at emulating Calvin (of Hobbes fame) went awry and I projectile vomited blotter acid on the student in front of me. All I felt was

fear. I was sick but I didn't care about that. The Hideous Blob at the front of the classroom was watching me with an evil eye. It approached! No time to waste, I grabbed my raygun

and fired a few bolts at the blob, but it had no effect. No, I thought, what is effective against blobs? I knew I had learned this somewhere, but now that I faced the real thing,

Luckly, thie blob was sluggish allowing me use the field guide. From the pustules' violet sheen, it had to be Oswald's Purple Ooze. It recommend flambe at high temperatures

Frying great purple blobs is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's all about preparation, planning and execution. I sidled up on Oswald's Purple Ooze with brandy and a griddl

-e coated in ghee. The blobjacks were astonishingly delish; through some culinary miracle, there was enough to feed an army. Word spread quickly. We were invaded that evening.